Turning Pages
A reflection on surpassing the 600 book milestone
Intentional living demands that all uses of time and attention be subject to scrutiny. Only those activities that add value in support of keeping my commitment to returning home stronger in body, mind, spirit, and relationships make the cut. I have read more than 600 books since arriving at the camp at FCI Thomson, but that doesn't mean that I should read another 600—or even six—unless doing so aligns with my purpose and goals. In this purposeless place, I am acutely aware of the importance of reflecting on the question: What is the point of this?
I am relieved to report that, the reflection undertaken, my time spent in books was not at all wasted. In fact, it has been—and continues to be—transformational. Those 600 books made my mind and relationships stronger. Allow me to share more details from my musings.
Attention and agency are priceless endowments that we all possess. But like any attribute, for us to capture their value in our lives, they must be exercised like muscles. Reading books—particularly those that are both substantive and artfully constructed—is my mental equivalent of running or burpees. It takes effort, sometimes strenuous effort, but not only do I gain insights, my attention gets stronger, which pays dividends disproportionate to the investment. As Rose Horowitz wrote in her piece "The Elite College Students Who Can't Read Books" for the November 2024 issue of The Atlantic:
“According to neuroscientist Maryanne Wolf, so-called deep reading—sustained immersion in a text—stimulates a number of valuable mental habits, including critical thinking and self-reflection, in ways that skimming or reading in short bursts does not.”
My overarching goal is to grow as a human and be of service to my fellow humans. Reading books contributes to two additional attributes that we share—and that are vitally important to achieving that aim while creating a life worth living: curiosity and empathy.
Opening the cover of a book is like opening a gate, beyond which a path beckons. Turning the pages is akin to taking steps of exploration along the path, propelled onward by my curiosity. As I wrote those words, I wondered what my teachers and professors would make of them. To say that I was not the most driven student would be charitable. I often frustrated them. The love of books and reading did not blossom in me until the end of my undergrad days. I suspect that they would be happy to know that, to the degree they desired to keep my curiosity alive and to instill in me the ability and desire to learn, the seeds they planted sprouted in my adulthood.
When I was not studying economics and political science in college, I made time for philosophy and mysticism with Plato, Carlos Castaneda, Robert Anton Wilson, and others. My first boss out of school was a self-taught entrepreneur who encouraged life-long learning, leading me to Peter Drucker, Dr. Stephen Covey, Jim Collins, Marcus Buckingham, Napoleon Hill, and many more business and leadership thinkers. When I entered recovery, Emmet Fox, Pema Chödrön, and Wayne Dyer served as spiritual guides. And when I reconnected with the game of golf in my 30s, Mark Frost, Tom Coyne, Michael Bamberger, and the architects of the Golden Age were there to fan the flames of my rediscovered passion.
It was a stroke of luck that I brought reading as an active practice with me to prison. Free time is abundant, and my curiosity encouraged me to invest my time rather than merely letting it pass by. I live among men who wander around all day complaining of being bored, when what they really are is boring because they have squandered the capacity for curiosity that unlocks the infinite interest of people, our world, and life itself. They motivate me through their counter-example.
Preparedness is my responsibility, and although I don't know if positions of leadership are in my future, I'll be ready if they are. In his article "How the Ivy League Broke America" in the December 2024 issue of The Atlantic, David Brooks made the connection between leadership and curiosity:
“You can sometimes identify a bad leader by how few questions they ask; they think they already know everything they need to. In contrast, history's great achievers tend to have an insatiable desire to learn. In his study of such accomplished creative figures, the psychologist Frank Barron found that abiding curiosity was essential to their success; their curiosity helped them stay flexible, innovative, and persistent.”
Humility belongs on the list of reading-enhanced leadership qualities as well. My ego loves to stand astride my knowledge gaps and distract me by attempting to convince me that I know much more than I do. When I use books to delve into subjects in which the authors demonstrate their expertise and skills of expression, the inescapable takeaway from the exercise is not how knowledgeable I am, but rather how ignorant. There is no shame in that ignorance, but there is danger in blindness to it.
According to a survey by the National Endowment for the Arts, fewer than half of adult Americans read a book in 2022. By contrast, surveyed CEOs report reading an average of 60 books per year. I may never be an organizational CEO. Heck, I'm not even the CEO in my household. I am, however, the CEO of my life—and reading is not just keeping my curiosity vibrant, it is enhancing my relationships through the encouragement of empathy.
It has been my good fortune to both receive and stumble upon books that broadened my horizons related to the richness of the human experience. To read a book does not equate to walking in another's shoes, but it can open our minds and hearts in a manner similar to bearing direct witness. Horowitz described the effect:
“Books can cultivate a sophisticated form of empathy, transporting a reader into the mind of someone who lived hundreds of years ago, or a person who lives in a radically different context from the reader's own.”
The operative word is “sophisticated.” Whether it's literature or nonfiction, reading a book is a commitment of effort—of applied attention—that puts us in relationship, the reward for which is understanding at a level below the superficial.
The exchange of books further deepens my relationships with both my fellow campers and my loved ones who are caring enough to send me their favorites. When we share a book, we are connected. I get to know you better through glimpsing what interests and moves you. I learn from what you know. Engagement is stimulated through reading the same stories and interrogating ideas together. Whether it's in the camp book club I started, visiting room conversations, or correspondence, I have been immeasurably enriched through the interactions books facilitated. My empathy for others and love for those closest to me have grown deeper—an unexpected and treasured gift discovered between the covers.
Teachers I study—from Epictetus to Montaigne to Emerson—concurred that knowledge acquired without integrating it into the lived experience of the pursuit of personal growth and service to others can be worse than pointless. It can hold us back from living effectively. Montaigne was a voracious reader and student of history, but he cautioned us against getting completely lost in books when he wrote:
“All we do is look after the opinions and learnings of others: we ought to make them our own... What use is it to have a belly full of meat if we do not digest it, if we do not transmute it into ourselves, if it does not make us grow in size and strength?... Learned we may be with another man's learning: we can only be wise with wisdom of our own.”
I can see how the 600 books have helped me evolve, expanding my consciousness. But unless I wisely pay those benefits forward—by building my character through living according to my values and making a positive impact on the world—nothing lasting has been accomplished by turning all those pages.
Even though making the selections is starting to make my head hurt, it wouldn't feel right to conclude without providing you with a few favorites lists. What follows is organized in keeping with the categorical buckets on which I'm zeroing in. When I get home, it is my intention to create a more exhaustive personal canon on Goodreads. For now, I can promise you that every one of these is a winner.
FICTION
All the Light We Cannot See – Doerr
Where the Crawdads Sing – Owens
The Great Gatsby – Fitzgerald
The Heart’s Invisible Furies – Boyne
Shantaram – Roberts
Ordinary Grace – Krueger
A Gentleman in Moscow – Towles
Dark Matter – Crouch
The Humans – Haig
The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared – Jonasson
The Nickel Boys – Whitehead
The Overstory – Powers
Demon Copperhead – Kingsolver
A Prayer for Owen Meany – Irving
KNOW & GROW THYSELF
Man’s Search for Meaning – Frankl
Pastrix – Bolz-Weber
Breath – Nestor
Peak – Ericsson
12 Rules for Life – Peterson
Third Millennium Thinking – Perlmutter
The Body Keeps the Score – Van der Kolk
Out of Your Mind – Watts
The Second Mountain – Brooks
The Wisdom Pattern – Rohr
The Obstacle Is the Way – Holliday
Atomic Habits – Clear
7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Covey
Discourses – Epictetus
Original Blessing – Shroyer
KNOW & SERVE THY WORLD
The Big Short – Lewis
Chasing the Scream – Hari
Braiding Sweetgrass – Kimmerer
Begin Again – Glaude
A History of God – Armstrong
Einstein – Isaacson
Everyone Who Is Gone Is Here – Blitzer
Nexus – Harari
Why We’re Polarized – Klein
Imminent – Elizondo
Savage Inequalities – Kozol
GOLF
The Legend of Bagger Vance – Pressfield
Open – Feinstein
The Battle for Augusta National – Shipnuck
The Swinger – Bamberger & Shipnuck
To the Linksland – Bamberger
LIV and Let Die – Shipnuck
Men in Green – Bamberger
The Majors – Feinstein
A Course Called America – Coyne
Caddy for Life – Feinstein
Following Through – Wind
Golf Architecture – MacKenzie
Phil – Shipnuck
The Nature of the Game – Keiser
There have been so many really good ones that I could keep going, but that ought to be enough to keep you busy. If you have recommendations for me, please leave them in the comments and I will add them to my To Read list.
Exploring books is comparable to playing golf courses, and I now find myself at a similar inflection point. Once I played enough great courses—modern and classic—to possess broad perspective, I found myself called to become more intimately familiar with my favorites. A great course demands repeated plays to unlock and fully appreciate its secrets. So it is with the most important books. They are worthy of periodic revisitation and closer study to capture all of the insights on offer. Canonical books are entering a personal rotation that I am approaching in that spirit. Taking advantage of diving into the associated digital media with these books is an additional can of worms that I intend to open when I have internet access.
The incarceration chapter of my life is coming to an end, and I will continue turning pages until it’s exit time. Thanks in part to books, I will return home a new man—commitment to get stronger kept, with curiosity and empathy as expansive as ever.